10 Life Lessons & Truths you NEED to learn now

If there was one year I had to choose that was “THE” pinnacle of learning years for me, it had to be 2017. Not surprisingly enough, I am so happy to move on to 2018, but not without taking with me the lessons & truths that I’ve learnt. Naturally, this inspired a post about 10 life truths that I’ve learnt along the way and I had to share with you. These truths are exactly that- truths. Lessons that are tried and tested, but yet remain true.

No matter your beliefs or what ideas you hold dear to you, there are just some things that you will learn in life and it’s so very important to acknowledge the lessons learnt and use them to move forward and help you not get royally screwed over again.

P.S. keep up with me on the daily @itsroxyjames on instagram & snapchat. I share so much behind the scenes like unboxings, things I’m loving, gym workouts & more.

Please feel free to share any lessons/truths you’ve learnt in the comments below/on my ask me anonymously page, and HUGE thank you to those who sent in their life lessons already.

1. Whatever is in the dark, will come to light

Best believe that as much as you may try to hide things/ or people hide things from you, it will always always come out eventually. It’s honestly crazy how life works & I have no idea what to even call such a phenomenon, but the truth/ what really happened, always has a way of revealing itself, some way or the other.

So if someone is really hiding something from you, best believe that one day, you WILL find out about it. And vice versa- so if you know you be doing something shady, just remember that one day, it will come out so be prepared.

2. Life isn’t fair

No one is owed anything- not loyalty, not love, not friends, not a good life- nothing. No matter how much of a good person you are, there will be things that will happen to you in life that just isn’t fair.You can love someone so much & want to believe the best in them, that you don’t realize that they are truly not decent human beings. No one knows why these things happen or the reason, but I believe that maybe it happened for a reason.

These uncontrollable acts that happen to us are probably put in our path to make us have a different perspective that might be much more valuable in the future. I love this saying & maybe it’s our choices in how we deal with it, that really makes the difference.

you can’t choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you react to it.

3. There will always be haters

Haters, negative people, mean people, bullies, whatever you may call it. Those people will always be present in your life. No matter how much of a good person you are, no matter how hard you work or the bad things you’ve been through in your life, people will always have something negative to say.

They don’t even have to know you personally, but they know of you, and for whatever reason they have, they simply won’t like you. But you know what?

THAT’S OKAY.

That’s just LIFE.

It took me soooo long to realize that the people who are so negative & hateful just have something that they’re not happy about with themselves. A happy person doesn’t just jump out of nowhere and be hateful. It just doesn’t work that way.

Now, I just don’t even bother to address any kind of negative comments because it’s just not worth my time and I definitely won’t give anyone the satisfaction to think that I cared enough to reply/comment about their negativity.

Once I realized this, I decided to live myself for ME, because at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how “good” or “bad” I am, there will always be negativity.

4. Human nature is flawed

No one is designed to be perfect and we shouldn’t expect other people to be perfect. We are designed to make mistakes and slip up, but I think that it’s the way that we try to make things right, that makes the difference.

It’s how we choose to say sorry, or be the “bigger” person; maybe it’s what we choose to say when all hell breaks loose or when we’re angry or hurt; or the ways we try to relieve our guilty conscience. Those are the things that define us.

5. Life is unpredictable

Everything can change in an instant. I think this was one of the hardest lessons I learnt this year. In one night, the guy I loved for 7 years, turned out to be a monster and that was the end of that. One day someone is in your life, and then they’re simply not.

The same goes for death (not trying to be morbid or anything LOL). You can be here one day and gone the next, and every. single. thing. that you own, will be left behind. We take nothing with us when we are gone- not cars, money, people, material things- nada.

Scary isn’t it? How much we take the next day, next month or heck, the next minute for granted, when in fact, nothing is owed to us & you don’t know what life has in store.

We can’t choose what life throws at us, but at least we can try to live a decent life, and be good people, while we have the chance.

6. Trust your instinct

You know that sick feeling you get inside the pit of your stomach, or when the back of your neck gets hot, or when you feel something inside your soul that makes it feel like if everything is falling apart? That’s your instinct trying to warn you that something isn’t right.

Listen to it. Trust it. There’s something so powerful in that feeling because no one knows why or how we feel like that way, but it happens. And that feeling doesn’t just come out of nowhere. Sometimes, maybe it’s just something or someone, trying to warn us or get our attention. Most of the times, your instinct will always be right.

7. Karma really is a bitch

What goes around, comes around. What goes up, must come down. You reap what you sow.

Sounds familiar? Although phrased differently, no matter what you believe in, this truth is almost as old as time & present in every religion. Feel free to do your own research because this ain’t a religious knowledge class.

I’ve had the word ‘karma” tattooed onto my wrist since I was 16 years old and it serves as a constant reminder to me, to be careful about the way that I live my life. I’ve done some pretty fucked up things and best believe it came back to me sevenfold. Thankfully, I learned the lesson now and I take comfort in knowing that no one is exempt from this truth.

If you ever feel like getting revenge, trust that Karma will take care of it. Don’t get your hands dirty and end up in more karmic debt. Leave it & let it be. Karma might take longer, but it’s only so that it will hurt more in the end.

8. You only have yourself

You know the saying, every man is for himself. Reading through my anonymous page, this seems to be what the most comments are about: that in times of trouble, they really see the people who are genuinely there for them.

Never expect anything from anyone (trust, loyalty, love etc) or believe that everyone is their for the right reason. Don’t put people on a pedestal. At the end of the day, it will just be you so make sure that you’re happy with yourself and have your own back. Treat yourself right, love yourself & do good, because you will always be the most important person in your own life.

9. You will lose yourself

You will lose your way, slip up in your beliefs or in other words, fuck up your life at least once. But it’s okay. These things happen to the best of us. But you always have the chance to fix it and try to make things right.

There’s no handbook on how to live, or a guidebook on what to do, so it’s okay to get lost. Just take the time to refocus on yourself and your life, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

10. You can’t find happiness

Happiness is not an object or thing that can just be magically found. We often seek out happiness in things or people, and then end up disappointed. Happiness lies in our choice- to want to be happy regardless of our circumstances or what happens to us.