Stop Settling for BS: how to stop & why you should

This topic was weighing hugely on my mind and I just had to post about it. 2017 has been nothing like what I thought it would be. If you told me on New Year’s that I would end a 7 year relationship, I would have been like wtf are you saying??? But it happened, and here I am. But here’s the thing, that relationship was long over, but I was fighting to hold on to it, trying to make things work. 

I remember my sister always telling me- what are you doing??? You’re going to waste your 20s. One day you’re going to wake up and realize that you made a mistake. But I didn’t want to let go because 7 years seemed like a lifetime. How do you just let go of so much time, energy, effort, love…how do you just “throw that away“. 

P.S. be sure your keeping up with me @itsroxyjames on instagram & snapchat where I share pep talks & experiences with you! 

Whether it’s a relationship, job, apartment or whatever, I’m sure you’ve felt this way. Fear. Anxiety. Guilt. And a host of other feelings because in your heart and soul, you know that’s not what you want. But you put with up it anyway because you don’t know what will happen next. 

When I finally made the effort to leave that relationship, I immediately felt a sense of peace and relief. 

I learned that when you finally get rid of a toxic part of your life, it makes the world of a difference. YOU change as a person- for the better. Holding on to something and settling for bs just sucks the life out of you because you always have to fight within yourself to hold on. You’re just never at peace. 

When you know what you want in someone or something- don’t be willing to just give it up for sloppy seconds. 

I always told myself that I would never stay with someone who lied or cheated on me. But when I found out my boyfriend of 7 years did that, I held on for two more months- and I was miserable.I settled, and gave up so much of myself and my beliefs for someone who wasn’t worth it. I would have panic attacks, random outbursts, paranoia, sudden fits of tears- but I still couldn’t let go until I truly finally had enough.

Now, I get so many messages from people saying that I’m “glowing” and how much “happier” I look. Because I really am. 

WHY YOU SHOULD STOP SETTLING FOR BS

1. It’s just a waste of time – and that’s as simple as it is. Settling for bs will NEVER make you happy and it won’t get you anywhere in life. You might find yourself wasting years of your life fighting a losing battle, holding on, and then having it end anyway because it never was what you wanted anyway. Time is a luxury and you just can’t afford to waste. Think about how much more things you can do when you stop settling. 

2. It’s exhausting- physically, mentally & emotionally. You always feel unhappy & miserable. You keep justifying & making excuses when instead, you could be channeling all of that energy towards something positive- like accomplishing your goals & living your best life.

3. Missing out on potential happiness- ever heard the quote “when you finally let go, something better comes along“. It could’t be more true. When you keep settling, how could you get what you truly want? And if you can’t get what you truly want, then how are you supposed to be happy? It makes sense right? 

when you settle, you’re really just holding yourself back from something better.  

4. Fear- who isn’t afraid of change? The unknown is a scary place- but you shouldn’t let yourself and your life be held back by something less. If you’re always afraid, then you won’t know what’s out there for you, and because of that, you can really be cheating yourself of an amazing life. 

5. You deserve better– It’s time to start realizing your worth. Keep reaffirming to yourself about what you deserve and refuse to settle for less than that. 

Sooo what should you do? 

Let go. Just simply let go. 

Life is just too short to keep settling for bs. You have to make the decision- and yes, it’s now or never- to let go of anything/anyone toxic to your life. And YES, I know how hard that can be- trust me, I’ve been there. But I’ve also been on the other side, and let me just say, that the view from here, is pretty amazing. 

I know it feels as if you’re throwing it away, but you’re not. You’re trading it in for something better. Take the lessons you’ve learnt & use the experiences to make a better future. 

Also, you need to be honest AF with yourself. When I was younger, I knew exactly what I wanted in a guy- and my ex was nothing like the man I dreamt of. I don’t know why it happens, but somehow, as you grow up and get lost finding yourself, you compromise, and justify, and make stupid excuses and instead, you just end up in one big mess. 

When you realize that something isn’t the way that you want it to be, or that someone isn’t just cutting it in your life, pick yourself up and tell yourself NO. This is not what I want. Be selfish. Choose yourself. Put yourself first and stop fucking settling for bs. 

Once you start to realize this, I promise you that so much better things & people will come into your lives. 

Questions? Ask here.